Rigged and Rigmaroled

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Posts Tagged ‘accountability’

Accountability, thy name is (wo)man

Posted by Rani on April 24, 2009

Too often have I heard the words “I had no choice”. Particularly from women, who see themselves as “victims” of a society or system that holds them back and doesn’t let them be. And then from the great working class who sees work as a necessary evil and would love to leave but..yeah, “I have no choice” (no no, this is not another post on jumping off any darned cliff!).

I think we always have a choice. Its often just that the options available are not what you might want. But we need to get that we choose the path we tread…… So accept it already.

A woman whose husband doesn’t want her to work (with all due respect to his reasons) thinks she has no choice but to stop working. Yes, she does have a choice — (in its simplest and most basic form:) maintain domestic harmony and go with his wishes, or stand up and discuss why she wants to work, why he does not want her to work and how they can resolve it. There is a choice, but it don’t come easy.

Each choice then opens up a vista of new options — if I choose to maintain domestic harmony and go with what he wants, how will I now handle it? With grace and acceptance that it was my choice finally? Or with resentment that this was imposed (when it really wasn’t, I chose for a peaceful home!!)?

Get it — we are a product of the choices we make, and the sooner we take accountability for it, including for those really aaargh choices, the sooner we learn to live. And enjoy. And really, feel a little more empowered that the (sometimes) terrible options notwithstanding, I chose my path, rocks and pits et al.

Just like the nothing of a free lunch, so goes it for free will, or the lack thereof: there isn’t. It exists, you just have to look really hard to see it.


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