Rigged and Rigmaroled

As We Journey Through the Daily Grind

Archive for April, 2009

Accountability, thy name is (wo)man

Posted by Rani on April 24, 2009

Too often have I heard the words “I had no choice”. Particularly from women, who see themselves as “victims” of a society or system that holds them back and doesn’t let them be. And then from the great working class who sees work as a necessary evil and would love to leave but..yeah, “I have no choice” (no no, this is not another post on jumping off any darned cliff!).

I think we always have a choice. Its often just that the options available are not what you might want. But we need to get that we choose the path we tread…… So accept it already.

A woman whose husband doesn’t want her to work (with all due respect to his reasons) thinks she has no choice but to stop working. Yes, she does have a choice — (in its simplest and most basic form:) maintain domestic harmony and go with his wishes, or stand up and discuss why she wants to work, why he does not want her to work and how they can resolve it. There is a choice, but it don’t come easy.

Each choice then opens up a vista of new options — if I choose to maintain domestic harmony and go with what he wants, how will I now handle it? With grace and acceptance that it was my choice finally? Or with resentment that this was imposed (when it really wasn’t, I chose for a peaceful home!!)?

Get it — we are a product of the choices we make, and the sooner we take accountability for it, including for those really aaargh choices, the sooner we learn to live. And enjoy. And really, feel a little more empowered that the (sometimes) terrible options notwithstanding, I chose my path, rocks and pits et al.

Just like the nothing of a free lunch, so goes it for free will, or the lack thereof: there isn’t. It exists, you just have to look really hard to see it.


Posted in Women's Options and Choices | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

The Principle of the Matter

Posted by Rani on April 15, 2009

“The less tall your declarations of principle, the less foolish you will look in retrospect”

This was a random comment from some forgettable movie I saw recently, but it echoed what I often say: you never know how you will react till the moment of fire, as it were, actually arrives. Of course, this is not to say one shouldn’t have principles, it’s always nice (and often necessary) to tell yourself this is how you probably would (should, really) react if a situation were to come up….but the key word is probably, and we need to get that. Every single person I know who has made your typical “I would NEVER do that” statement ends up doing some variant of exactly what they had sworn they wouldn’t. After all, you dont know if you turn pink or blue till the litmus test (!!).

So why bother with principles in the first place? Its your Zen-like question on whether a tree makes a sound when it falls if no one is there to hear it. Principles, I suppose, are your compass. Your guide. Without knowing what we probably would (should) do, we become too…in-the-moment. Now, I’m all for living in the moment – but that compass helps. Just spare everyone the traumatizing yeah-I-got-a-compass-(talking loudly) drill.

Posted in Life's lil' Lessons | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

What’s in a Name?

Posted by Rani on April 15, 2009

I never remember names. Never. Not of real people, I seem to be fairly okay there. Of fictional characters in the various (I hope) books I have read. So much so that one might wonder if I have actually read any of the books I claim to or have just taken the much easier route of wiki-ing the synopsis, an act usually reserved for movies.

Possibly the only book I remember names of even minor characters is Gone with the Wind (try India Wilkes for size). H2G2 is a fairly close second. I want to add Lord of the Rings to the list, but I confess I consciously tried to memorize the names with little success. Go Frodo, go Gandalf!

I believe it has something to do with my relating more to the ethos of the story than the actual characters themselves. Bravo, well said Rani. A good weasel out of the more plausible I’m-just-not-paying-enough-attention reason.  I got to cut me some slack, it probably does have something to do with the first reason.

As with all other issues in life, this poses the eternal question on how the heck it matters. As a self-confessed pseudo-intellectual, one of my vices ought to be to wax eloquent and unintelligbly (to the layman, duhhh) on obscure books and throw in quotes and names. Name-droppers, all of them wannabes.

Ahh, I think the real issue is that I tend to simplify things in order to understand it. Which I’m fine with, because I personally think it’s a rare trait that one can simplify a dense piece to make it understandable to the layman AND without appealing to the lowest common denominator. I really am a pseudo-intellectual….but now, in a better sense of the word. I die happy.

<insert afterthought>: if I think I’m above the layman, maybe I am a pseudo-intellectual after all, and no longer in a better sense of the word. Revert to status quo.

Posted in Random When Bored | Tagged: , , , | 8 Comments »

The Myth of Security (of the job kind)

Posted by Rani on April 11, 2009

For too long, I believed a regular salaried job was the acme of security, provided it was with a stable, sound, and well-run organization. And then the recession came. Of course, I had already started my long pending sabbatical (non-euphemistically a.k.a. break-from-work or even less euphemistically unemployment) by design (read I chose to do this, and you can’t miss that ‘cuz I italicized AND bolded it) when the recession hit and to everyone who asked me whether I was worried, I just said it was too late to start worrying now and I might as well (continue to) enjoy the ride. And to all those who wonder envyingly (actually, it’s usually suspiciously that I’ve lost it) how I manage it all with such élan, I have just one answer – jump off the cliff.

Yeah, jump because that’s the only way you really see that free fall is not such a bad thing (uhmm, assuming you were smart enough to equip yourself with a parachute haversack first).  Because if the recession has shown us anything, it’s been the transitory nature of all things including that regular salaried job with a stable, sound, and well-run organization.

So jump. Voluntarily, on your terms, and in your time.

Posted in Life's lil' Lessons | Tagged: , | 15 Comments »

On the Bandwagon

Posted by Rani on April 9, 2009

The greatest challenge in jumping on the bandwagon is that you’re just part of the herd, and the greatest challenge in not is missing the bus, over and over and over. So here we are, new blog et al and writing about exactly what I swore I wouldn’t write about – how the muses deserted me just as I begin to write.

With the perfunctory intro out of the way, I can settle down to the serious business of writing about nothing at all. The writer’s block is real, but laziness is ‘realer’. To rack your brains on something to write and keeping it cohesive is — well, tiring. As is the entire façade of being a pseudo-intellectual, which I believe is my USP. But a closet one. Oh great, I had to come out of the closet in my very first blog ever. Darn. And before the hounds get me, not that closet – just the intellectual one.

Wait, this is about on or off the bandwagon. Right, so do we and must we be careful to not get left out of ‘key developments that redefine society even as I type’? Do we or don’t we jump on the bandwagon? And do I continue to pretend I really care about this, another key skill in being a pseudo-intellectual.

The long and short of it – the bandwagon demands conformity. And so, we pretend to conform. End result –pseudo. A new bandwagon to jump on, and we all live happily ever after.

Posted in Random When Bored | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »